If only they had a copywriter

Between my Google Reader subscriptions, my Twitter feed and content shared by friends and colleagues, I consume a busload of online information every day. Pair that with the fact that I’m obsessive compulsive (read: anal) about language, I have certain standards when I take the time to read something.

I understand as well as the next person that mistakes slip in, but unless you’re still rocking a typewriter, spell checkers and tools like After the Deadline should eliminate most spelling errors. I can forgive the your/you’re or advice/advise slip, but badly written copy puts me off a product or service completely.

A colleague forwarded me the below email recently. I changed the name of the company and the suburb, but the rest is verbatim:

I hope that you are well.
I would like to take this opportunity to introduce X Company to you,
We are an up market and ultra modern Conferencing and special events venue based in X Suburb. We boast with over 9 different meeting rooms and our capacities can accommodate from 4pax – 500pax.

We can do EVERYTHING from product launches, conferencing, banquets, exhibitions, teambuilding, seminars, training, amazing themed yearend functions, cocktail parties etc, basically whatever your heart desires!

Our prices are really competitive!

I would like to Extend an invite to you to attend a site inspection of our venue at a time convenient to you.
It would be my pleasure to show you our venue and meet you in person.

I don’t know if an “ultra modern” company that does EVERYTHING instead of everything, Conferencing instead of conferencing and that Extends instead of extends is the right company for my “teambuilding” function. I thought pax had something to do with kissing. Also my heart desires! a company that’s not quite so competitive! in the ! department.

I’m not saying everyone should spend thousands on a copywriting service. If you can’t afford a permanent copywriter, pay a linguistics student or an underpaid newspaper subeditor to do it. A couple of bucks could save you a lot of embarrassment.

Freelance writers, editors and such folk, feel free to link to your website in the comments section below.

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4 Responses to If only they had a copywriter

  1. Johan Swarts August 12, 2010 at 11:24 am #

    >Ah, ja, maar dis 'n rasionele argument wat jy hier maak. En besigheidsmense in lomp burokrasieë…is nie ;)

  2. Margot August 13, 2010 at 11:01 am #

    >OK. We accidentally bought a box of Milo cereal the other day. (Someone had left it on the counter,it got scanned into our shopping.)

    I quote:

    We are all being told to take greater care of our families diets. To help, all Nestle cereals contain wholegrain. So your family can enjoy the great taste experience, whilst getting the benefits of wholegrain!

    Breakfast means "breaking the fast". After a nights sleep, your body needs breakfast to give you the nutrients and energy you need to help get started in the morning.

    This means you can use some of the energy for whatever sport or exercise you love. Soccer, Cricket or Basketball are great ways to burn energy for overall fitness. Who knows, the more you practice, the better you get and one day you might turn out to be the next sports star!

    At least one, if not three, erreor per paragraph. I am sure Nestle spends millions on packaging and branding – but they don't have 2cents to ensure they don't look like uneducated fools on their OWN BOX? Can you just imagine how heads would roll if a designer used the wrong shade of Milo green on the box? But spelling and grammar? Or, whatever…

  3. K.R.Isis August 13, 2010 at 11:12 am #

    >Horrific.

  4. Oxydo August 13, 2010 at 11:20 am #

    >A good point Kristia.
    E-mail etiquette = Good first impression

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